Student Area|Teacher Area
 

Letter of Adjustment Mistakes

  • Home
  • CILL
  • Letter of Adjustment Mistakes

Aim: This exercise will help you to write better letters of adjustment. The mistakes in this exercise are mistakes made by students in past assignments.

Instructions: Click on the mistakes in the following letter of adjustment. (N.B. There is one grammatical mistake, one punctuation mistake and nine content mistakes).

                
Your Style Fashions
Unit 54321
Tai Po Industrial Estate
New Territories

Dear Sirs

Re: Your Complaint

I would like to apologise for the error made by our company in supplying your order number 9857/E dated .

You ordered 100 size-36 dresses (model no. 134) and our dispatch office sent only 10. This was due to an invoicing mistake.

You also informed us that the colour of the dresses that you did receive was not consistent. You said that the colours of different dresses were slightly different shades of red, some being more of an orange colour. You also said that one of the dresses had two different shades, with the arms being lighter than the skirt.

We have told our clerk be more careful with invoicing. We have also complained to the factory about the colours.

We have dispatched 100 new garments by express courier. They should arrive by

To show our goodwill, we would like to offer you a 20% discount on your next order with us.

We look forward to receiving your further orders, and assure you that they will be filled promptly.

Yours sincerely,

Alice Chee

Alice Chee
The Distributions Manager

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The letter has too much detail of the cause of the complaint. The reader should already know this, so it is not necessary to repeat it. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The customer may think that there is not enough explanation of the cause of the invoicing problem and the solution to it. The customer may have more confidence in your future service if you show that you know the cause and can therefore prevent the problem from happening again. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is no assurance that this problem will not occur again ('promptly' is not the problem, the number and colours of the dresses is the problem). This is important because the complainer is a customer who may want to do business with you again, and wants to know that you are now more reliable. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the organisation of this letter the solutions to the problems raised by the complainer are not together with the causes of the problems. This makes the letter harder to understand. Also, these solutions are not very good, as both the clerk and the factory may make mistakes again. Double-checking order quantities by two people and doing quality control on orders before they are sent out would be better solutions. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The subject heading is not precise enough. A good subject heading should allow the reader to easily find the background information on this situation. To do this the subject heading can include one of the following:

  • a file or order number; e.g. 9857/E
  • the date the letter of complaint was written; e.g.
  • the name of a product or service; e.g. Order of 100 Red Dresses

It should not remind the reader of any negative opinions of your organisation that have been caused by this problem, so do not use:

  • Complaint about Dresses
  • Late Delivery of Order 9857/E

(Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The salutation (Dear...) should be to a specific person, and/or there should be an attention line (Attn: Ms Wong) to show who is handling this case. This is also more polite and shows that your service is more personalised. The receiver's name should also be above their company address. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In modern business writing style it is not necessary to put a comma after the salutation (Dear Mr Wong,) or the 'Yours sincerely,' or 'Yours faithfully,'. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do not use 'The' before the job title of the writer of the letter of adjustment.  (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The compensation offered in this letter is probably too much, as it is probably greater than the profit margin on the items. However, to retain an important customer it might be necessary to offer a large discount. Therefore, be sure to check with your manager what level of discount is appropriate both for this customer, and in your industry and for your products or services. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the modern business writing style called 'block style', all text in the letter, including the addresses, start at the left margin. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the salutation is 'Dear Sir', the writer should use 'Yours faithfully'. If the salutation is 'Dear Mr Wong', the writer should use 'Yours sincerely'. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is not a mistake. (Click here to go back to the letter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is a corrected version of the letter of adjustment:

May's Fashion Wholesale  << This address is now on the left.
Room 3401
200, Java Road
North Point
Hong Kong

Mr D. Wong  << The name of the specific person who complained.
Your Style Fashions
Unit 54321
Tai Po Industrial Estate
New Territories

Dear Mr Wong  << The name of the specific person who complained.

Re: Order Number 9857/E << A more specific subject heading. It also does not include the word 'Complaint' so that it does not remind the reader of the negative feelings and opinions they might have about the writers organisation that were caused by this problem.

I would like to apologise for the error made by our company in supplying your order number 9857/E dated .

You ordered 100 size-36 dresses (model no. 134) and our dispatch office sent only 10. This was due to an invoicing mistake. We have instituted a double-checking system for order quantities so that this type of mistake will not happen again. << An effective solution immediately after the problem.

You also informed us that the colour of the dresses that you did receive was not consistent. << No unnecessary detail. We have also improved our quality control system to prevent this type of error. << An effective solution immediately after the problem.

We have dispatched 100 new garments by express courier. They should arrive by .

To show our goodwill, we would like to offer you a 5% discount on your next order with us. << A more appropriate discount.

We look forward to receiving your further orders, and assure you that they will be filled correctly. << An assurance that the problems will not re-occur.

Yours sincerely << Matches 'Dear Mr Wong'. Also there is no comma.

Alice Chee

Alice Chee
Distributions Manager << No 'The' in front of the job title.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last updated on: Monday, March 26, 2012