Report Writing Scenario Site

Example Feedback on a Report

E-mail: Inbox

From:
To:
Subject:  
Sent:
Dear Mr Chan,

Thank you for your report on the recent training course on Quality Control.

Overall you wrote a reasonable report. I attach some comments on it, which I have categorised into various sections, and the text of your report with some comments. You can read them below.

Regards,
Bob Smith
Personnel Manager
Golden Gate Engineering

Attachments:

Attachments:

Comments on Content


Good features:

  • You described how the information was collected.
  • Your introduction included the reason why the report was requested.

Points to improve:

  • You should describe when the information was collected.
  • Your introduction should include the date the report was requested.
  • You did not include the name of the training company.
  • The introduction should include the the aim of the report.
  • The introduction should include the name of person who requested the report

Comments on Organisation


Good features:

  • You have a section entitled Conclusion.
  • You identified whether information was general or specific by using 'overall' .

Points to improve:

  • There should be a section entitled Introduction.
  • There should be a section entitled Background.
  • There should be a section entitled Findings.
  • There should be a section entitled Method, Procedure, or Methodologies .
  • There should be a section entitled Recommendations.
  • You should number your headings; e.g. '1. Introduction', as this makes sections easier to refer to.

Comments on Register

Points to improve:

  • You should not use 'And' or 'But' at the start of a sentence: it is bad style.

Grammar and Vocabulary


Good features:

  • You used verbs to make recommendations.

Points to improve:

  • You should describe how likely the cause of the findings are, using words such as probably / possibly / may / might / could / appears / seems..

Comments on Business Style

Points to improve:

 

Your Original Report with Comments

The errors are highlighted and explained with a red background.

To: Mr. Bob Smith, Personnel Manager

From: Joe Chan

Date: 13 April 2005

Subject: Report on Training Course

Introduction

This report is because of problems with a course.

Finding

In the survey the students were not satisfied to Caution: the adjective 'satisfied' is usually only followed by 'with' or 'by' the course. 

1) 48% of Caution: It is bad style to start a sentence with digits. You should use a word instead. staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. and 50% of managers said that overall they were neutral about the course. 

2) 36% and Caution: It is bad style to start a sentence with digits. You should use a word instead. 32% said course objectives were achieved, and 48% and 24% said staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. performance has improved due to this course.

In interviews staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. , the teacher and the manager complained about the course.

Conclusion

In summary, the course was not good, due to no enough Warning: The opposite of 'enough' is 'not enough'. communication.

Recommendation Warning: ''Recommendations' should be plural if you make more than one recommendation.

I recommend to Warning: 'I suggest/ recommend' should be followed by an -ing verb; e.g. 'I suggest/recommend doing something about this'. change the course. 

We should use a different training company. 

And Warning: You should not use 'And' or 'But' at the start of a sentence: it is bad style. we should ask the staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. what course they want.

 
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