Example Feedback on a Report
Attachments:
Comments on Content
Good features:
- You described how the information was collected.
- Your introduction included the reason why the report was requested.
Points to improve:
- You should describe when the information was collected.
- Your introduction should include the date the report was requested.
- You did not include the name of the training company.
- The introduction should include the the aim of the report.
- The introduction should include the name of person who requested the report
Comments on Organisation
Good features:
- You have a section entitled Conclusion.
- You identified whether information was general or specific by using 'overall' .
Points to improve:
- There should be a section entitled Introduction.
- There should be a section entitled Background.
- There should be a section entitled Findings.
- There should be a section entitled Method, Procedure, or Methodologies .
- There should be a section entitled Recommendations.
- You should number your headings; e.g. '1. Introduction', as this makes sections easier to refer to.
Comments on Register
Points to improve:
- You should not use 'And' or 'But' at the start of a sentence: it is bad style.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Good features:
- You used verbs to make recommendations.
Points to improve:
- You should describe how likely the cause of the findings are, using words such as probably / possibly / may / might / could / appears / seems..
Comments on Business Style
Points to improve:
- To increase readability, you should use more approximations.
Your Original Report with Comments
The errors are highlighted and explained with a red background.
To: Mr. Bob Smith, Personnel Manager
From: Joe Chan
Date: 13 April 2005
Subject: Report on Training Course
Introduction
This report is because of problems with a course.
Finding
In the survey the students were not satisfied to Caution: the adjective 'satisfied' is usually only followed by 'with' or 'by' the course.
1) 48% of Caution: It is bad style to start a sentence with digits. You should use a word instead. staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. and 50% of managers said that overall they were neutral about the course.
2) 36% and Caution: It is bad style to start a sentence with digits. You should use a word instead. 32% said course objectives were achieved, and 48% and 24% said staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. performance has improved due to this course.
In interviews staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. , the teacher and the manager complained about the course.
Conclusion
In summary, the course was not good, due to no enough Warning: The opposite of 'enough' is 'not enough'. communication.
Recommendation Warning: ''Recommendations' should be plural if you make more than one recommendation.
I recommend to Warning: 'I suggest/ recommend' should be followed by an -ing verb; e.g. 'I suggest/recommend doing something about this'. change the course.
We should use a different training company.
And Warning: You should not use 'And' or 'But' at the start of a sentence: it is bad style. we should ask the staffs Warning: One person is 'a member of staff'. A group of employees are 'staff', with no 's' at th end. what course they want.